Movie Review - Observe and Report

Observe and Report (2 of 5): That's it; I have had enough. Knocked up was great. Superbad was good. Pineapple Express was the worst piece of shit ever produced; this one was not much better. Seth Rogan, it's time to expand your horizons or fade into obscurity.

Rogan plays Ronnie Barnhardt, head security guard at the local mall. Ronnie takes his job incredibly seriously, comes from a broken home, has an alcoholic mother who passes out mid-sentence, and a long history of anti-depessant medication because he is "a little bi-polar". When a flasher strikes the mall parking lot, "violating" numerous women employees and mall patrons, Ronnie and crew are on the case. Things get personal when the pervert exposes himself to Ronnie's love interest, a trashy, drunken, make-up counter hottie who is way out of his league. However, Ronnie's efforts are impeded by a real police detective played by Ray Liotta; Hillarity does not really ensue.

There are a handfull of really funny moments, like watching his mom drunken face plant on the carpet, and Ronnie's psychological evaluation while applying for the police department. Rogan does a decent job of making Ronnie a likable character; but most of the time, Ronnie seems like he is about to become the next gunman in the latest headlines. Rock music blares at seemingly random times, and the violence escalates shockingly fast at times. In one scene, Ronnie and his right hand man begin a rampage that begins funny, beating up skateboarders and ends with them both doing lines of coke and robbing stores in the mall. But hey, who hasn't been there?

It feels like Rogan is trying to branch out and show a darker side, as opposed to an overweight, lovable stoner. However, from what I can see, he is not ready to take on a different role, as he appears unable to make more than two facial expressions on camera and exude the same self-deprecating humor.

Movie Review - Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist (2 of 5): Damn, this movie was a huge disappointment. That is really all I need to write for a review, but I guess I should explain. I went into this movie expecting three things: 1) a good performance from Michael Cera, who I think has awesome comedic timing and potential (just watch Arrested Development); 2) a great soundtrack; and 3) a nice coming of age story. Unfortunately, Nick & Norah satisfied none of these expectations.

This is a film about Nick, an emotional pussy who just can't get over being dumped by his hottie - way over his head - girlfriend. How they ever got together in the first place is never explained. He is in a band with two gay guys that are annoyingly self-aware and comfortable with their status as homosexuals, despite the fact that they are teenagers in high school. Nick gets out one night in his beat up Yugo and meets Norah, who is coming off an on-again/off-again relationship with her rocker boyfriend. Nick and Norah then proceed to have quirky conversations while getting to know each other in a series of ridiculous circumstances.

My grievances with this movie are many. First, everybody in this film is so self-aware and confident in their personality that it makes you want to puke. Really, is any teenager actually this comfortable with their identity? This is not a realistic coming of age story in the vein of Breakfast Club or American Graffiti. No, the characters in this story already act and converse as adults, even though their circumstances and actions would dictate otherwise. Second, Nick & Norah's night is never ending. They do and see so much in one night it becomes completely unbelievable and all of this is topped off with forced relationships an unrealistic dialogue. Finally, for a movie with "infinite playlist" in the title one would expect some good music, right? Wrong. I can't name a single memorable song in this movie - the soundtrack was crap.

I can't recommend Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It's a completely forgettable film and the people who wrote it need a reality check. Also, after this movie, Juno and Paper Heart, Michael Cera really needs to get some new material to work on before he is perpetually typecast as the "loveable dweeb".

Gamer Goofiness

Here is some gamer inspired hilarity for your Monday morning:

Movie Review - Adventureland

Adventureland (5 of 5): Trailer I think that one of the laziest things to do when reviewing a movie is to note the similarities it shares with others. Thankfully, Adventureland is not like many other movies that have been released as of late; and the poor marketing it received, billed it as "Superbad at the amusement park". This comparison, although not necessarily a bad thing, is not really warranted, Adventureland stands alone and is far superior in wit and feeling.

Adventureland tells the story of James, the recent college graduate who, due to a family financial crisis is forced to postpone his summer of traveling Europe before embarking onto graduate school in New York. After discovering that his minimal employment history, combined with a degree in comparative English literatue, makes him rather "un-hireable"; James takes a job at the local amusement park as a game vendor...not rides, big difference.

It is easy to empathize with the nightmare it must be to work at an amusement park. Dead of summer heat, minimum wage, rude, inconsiderate douchebag members of the public, and the most overlooked aggravation of all; being present in that environment while the same obnoxious over-played song repeats itself all day long. (In the movie it is "Rock Me Amadeus over and over. After working two state fairs I have hateful feelings towards Justin Timberlake songs)

The cast of characters working at the park are truly hillarious. The main plotline consists of James falling in love with an emotionally unavailable Emily; perhaps the most wonderful female lead I have seen in years. The inevitable love triangle insues; actually more of a square, both main charcters have other intimacy choices. The beautiful thing about Adventureland is that the cast of characters, although probably generically defined as "geeks' or "nerds" and are as socially awkward as it gets; are lovable and easy to connect with. It seems like so many movies utilizing these types of characters only develop them just enough for a laugh, when the laugh is over, they just seem pathetic. Adventureland shows that despite being a geek (speaking as one) you aren't necessarily crippled by your awkwardness and are unable to win a kiss from the girl.

Maybe because I identified with the main character so well, or that the movie was set in the mid 80's, the setting of my childhood, or perhaps the fact that the soundtrack contains a Whitesnake song; Adventureland gets my vote for the best movie that I have personally seen this year. If you were a teen in the 80's, or ever had a dead-end job that you were too smart to be in, you will really appreciate this movie.

Dedication: This review is dedicated to a girl I once knew...she was the most confusing, enigmatic girl I have ever known, but provided for a unique summer of my own.

Movie Review - Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder (4 of 5): I checked out Tropic Thunder over the weekend. It was a very funny movie. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed it quite a bit more than I was anticipating. With the exception of Zoolander, I don't usually find Ben Stiller movies that great. After seeing Tropic of Thunder though, I think it goes head to head with Zoolander as my favorite Ben Stiller flick.

This movie offers more than just Ben Stiller though. There is a great cast, including Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Nick Nolte (looking seriously alcoholic) and Tom Cruise. They all play really messed up characters and everybody is unique. Tom Cruise is especially icky and disturbing - and trust me, I would't use the word "icky" unless it was warranted.

Although I had a lot of fun with this film, I can see how some people may not like it. There is a decent amount of poking fun at retarded people, which I found hilarious, but many may not. Also, a lot of the humor has an inside joke appeal, either referencing other war movies or making fun of the Hollywood system. These jokes may go over the heads of some.

Overall though, this is a really fun film with lots of laughs. I would definitely watch it again and that is something to say since so few comedies these days are worth second viewings, in my opinion. Even the movie trailers at the beginning are worth the price of a rental. Check it out.

Movie Review - The Haunting In Conneticut

The Haunting In Conneticut (4 of 5): Any fan of this genre knows that the state of horror movies has been reduced to cheap gorefests, perpetuated by movies like Hostel, Saw, and endless gory remakes of classic 70's and 80's horror. However, Connecticut does not bombard you with excessive violence and blood.

Instead, it tells the story of a teenage boy suffering from cancer who agrees to undergo some experimental treatment. In an effort to ease the burden, his family abruptly and hastily moves the entire family to a rental home in Connecticut. The home seems to provide the ideal setting for the grief-stricken family, however, from the onset, most of the family is unaware of the home's disturbing past. The movie explains itself thoroughly, so there is no point in re-capping it here. Suffice to say that the house has a chilling and haunted past "filled" with death, self-mutilation, spirits and lost souls.

Where this movie succeeds is in it's ability to scare with imagery. There are a handful of scenes that really made me jump, simply due to a look from an on-screen character, or some environmental effect. The make-up and CGI in some areas were very effective in presenting a truly frightening scene.

That being said, the movie is not without it's generic horror pitfalls. My biggest pet-peeve in horror is the cheap scare that is delivered as the music builds up, and something pops out of nowhere and makes the character and viewer literally jump. Connecticut certainly has it's share of these cheap scares. Additionally there are a lot of borrowed concepts from other successful horror successes such as Poltergeist, The Ring, and The Others.

It's important to remember that in horror, more than in any other genres, there are so few universal truths as to what is scary. It is a very personal and wide ranging emotion. This one did it for me and I was very pleased to leave the theater pretty freaked out at the film I had just seen.

*Note* If you do see it at the theatre, be sure to stay well into the credits. There is a very spooky, albeit contrived surprise at the end.

Bioshock 2 Game Play

Arguably one of the best games to have come out on the XBox 360 was Bioshock. The sequel has big shoes to fill and high expectations. Here is the first released gameplay footage of the new game, Bioshock 2.



Looks pretty good if you ask me!

You're Terminated

In anticipation of the release of Terminator Salvation later this spring, Warner Bros. has released a nice little web app that allows you to turn yourself into a Terminator. I don't know about you, but the first thing I thought of trying was to turn a unicorn and a baby into Terminators and then imagine them fighting each other for world domination. Anybody else with me on this!?


Who would win? I have my money on the Unicorn - that horn and the rainbows it produces can do some damage. However, the baby is cute and disarming, which allows him to break down your defenses and get in for the quick kill. Tough call...

Please vote for your pick in the comments section!

Terminate Yourself here

Science!

This movie about magnetic fields is eerie, but it is also fascinating and educational! The short film has been around for awhile and won some awards. I saw it again today and thought it was worth sharing. Check it out:


Magnetic Movie from Semiconductor on Vimeo.
by Ruth Jarman and Joe Gerhardt

Legos, Ghostbusters and Monoliths

Recently, I got out all my old childhood Lego sets. I only had vague memories of the sets, so it has been fun to rebuild them. It's also been fun (yet challenging) to build them with my three year old daughter who is always eager to help.

Anyway, you are probably wondering what this has to do with movies so here comes the tie-in. I just came across this picture of a cool Lego creation from a fan of the movie Ghostbusters, one of my all-time favorite comedies. I think you will agree with me that this is pretty well done!


Speaking of Ghostbusters, did you hear that a Ghostbusters 3 is in the works? I'll be happy to see those guys working together again, but unhappy with the "reboot for a younger generation" angle I'm sure the film will follow. Right now, somebody in Hollywood is thinking they gotta have Zac Efron as the new Peter Venkmen.

I am always impressed by the skill and creativity shown by Lego artists. One day, with practice, I hope to have similar skill to create my own Ecto 1. But, for now, I'll just stick to making Monoliths from 2001.


Thanks Brothers Brick

Movie Review - Let the Right One In

Let the Right One In (4 of 5): This independent Swedish film quietly snuck in and made many Best of 2008 lists last year. It is the story of Oskar, a bullied 12-year old boy who dreams of revenge. He befriends his new neighbor, Eli, a 12 year old girl who has some very strange qualities: she can’t stand the sun, can’t eat food, and needs to be invited into rooms. Yes, Eli is a vampire.

Let The Right One In is a coming of age story that is both romantic and violent. Although the story may seem preposterous, you never find yourself thinking it is unbelievable. This is largely because the vampire elements are presented realistically and not allowed to become campy. Eli looks and interacts like a mostly normal girl – although with years of experience behind her eyes. It is this subtle presentation that makes the violent/horror elements of the movie all the more terrifying, since we perceive them being perpetuated by what appears to be a normal pre-teen girl.

The movie is close to two hours long but it never seems dull. It is a visually beautiful film and offers exceptional writing and performances by its young cast. A multi-layered story is presented for the characters and the vampire mythology. In particular, I liked Eli’s interaction with her “caretaker”, and the obvious parallels it presents to her current and future relationship with Oskar. Blinded by love, Oskar does not see the tragedy inherent in what his life will become, but we do.

Overall, I found this film to be very enjoyable. It provides romantic, horror and tragic elements all wrapped up into one nice package. If you don’t shy away from independent or foreign films, I highly recommend Let the Right One In. Or, you can wait until 2010 and see the planned (and very likely terrible) American remake. At which point I would be happy to come to your home, tell you “I told you so”, and punch you in the face for being an idiot.

Movie Review - I Love You Man

I Love You Man (3 of 5): I'm almost ready to say "enough already". These movies are coming a little to quickly ( I know what that's like) one after another. I Love You tells the story of a sensitive guy who is recently engaged to a beautiful woman. Through the planning of the wedding, it becomes painfully obvious that the male lead (Rudd) lacks a network of social male friends. In an attempt to gain some independence and not be so smothering, as well as to find a best man for the wedding, Rudd engages in a series of "man-dates". These dates culminate with Rudd discovering Segal the quint-essential "man" who slowly weens Rudd away from a lifestyle of Appletinis and musicals to a life of beer drinking and playing in a Rush cover band.

The movie flows well, but I really didn't find myself laughing. The one strength of the movie; which is a common thread to the success of this brand of movie, is the ability to connect and identify with the characters. Anyone who has been in a serious relationship or marriage knows how incredibly difficult it is to maintain your identity with respect to your existing friends. You understand the constant balancing act between hanging out with friends and your relationship responsibilities; especially when either of those two dynamics are new to you. Rudd's character is the most socially awkward on screen personality since George Costanza or Larry David from Curb your Enthusiasm. Coincidentally the same person essentially.

The man dates are comical, and the constant awkwardness of Rudd trying to fit in and connect using "guy-slang" are painfully familiar and funny. However, overall, I really found very few laugh out loud moments. But maybe that's the point; life really isn't always that funny; rather a series of socially awkward moments punctuated by a few amusing comments. Very few of which were found in this review...

The Wait Is Over

The wait is over...Although it has been nearly two years since there has been any activity, or new material on our beloved site, we have deemed ourselves ready to get the creative juices flowing. That sounded grosser than it meant to be.

That being said, in addition to movie reviews and postings about things that piss us off about the overall theater-going experience; we are branching out. In the future, we plan on introducing video game reviews, general observations about society, music debates (not necessarily confined to "Why Kanye West needs to shut the fuck-up) and a few other surprises.

So, hopefully, this time it sticks. Bookmark the site, tell your friends, myspace and facebook the hell out of it so that we can get some entertaining conversation going. Please feel free to add any suggestions or comments about the sites direction, and what you would like to see. Or, if you would like be a guest writer from time to time, let us know. We will say no, but seriously, let us know.

-Movie Guys

Movie Review - Sunshine

Sunshine (3 of 5): Last Monday night, I had the opportunity to go to Chicago to check out an advanced screening of Sunshine before its wide release on July 20th. Sunshine is set 50 years into the future and follows a group of scientists and astronauts in their voyage to re-start our solar system’s dying sun. Along the way, the crew encounters the original ship that was sent to perform their task seven years prior and a horror that lies in wait.

Sunshine is a science fiction movie with horror elements introduced into the third act. I liked the science fiction, but I didn’t like the horror. It’s obvious that a lot of thought, consultation and time was spent to create a world that feels as though it could exist 50 years from now. There are some very interesting and cool scenes that the science fiction elements of the movie make possible. Unfortunately, in the end, the horror elements of the third act ruined my full enjoyment of this film. Its not that I dislike horror, but I think that Sunshine would have been better as just a pure science fiction film without the horror elements that seemed out of place and almost silly.

Performances are pretty good all around. The actors and actresses succeed in drawing moviegoers into the film to make them feel like they are a part of the crew on the ship. If you pay close attention you’ll notice that even the sun is presented as an actor in this movie, which is cool. Of course, this being a Danny Boyle film, the score and sound effects are terrific, although not as good as in some of his previous movies, i.e. Millions, 28 Days Later and Trainspotting. The special effects are also very good for a lower budget film, fully convincing me of their reality.

Overall, Sunshine is worth a viewing if you are a fan of space/science fiction movies - there just aren’t a lot of them out there these days, so we have to take what we can get. The story is unique, there are many exciting scenes, and the “science” of the film seems legitimate and interesting. Unfortunately, the third act of this movie is quite a departure from the rest of the film and I have a feeling will distract many people from a complete enjoyment of the movie.

PS - After the movie was over, the audience was treated to a Q & A session with the director, Danny Boyle. I expect to write up my thoughts on that portion of the evening within the next week, so stay tuned!

Advance Screening of Sunshine

Tomorrow night I will be going to Chicago to catch an advance screening of Danny Boyle's new movie Sunshine. After the screening, there is a Q & A session with Danny Boyle.

Of course, I will have a preview up on 2MovieGuys before the film hits wide release on Friday. Also, I hope to share some insights from the director.

Stay Tuned!

I Hate Fruit of the Loom

From this day forward, I will never EVER buy Fruit of the Loom underwear; not even undershirts.

During the 25 minutes (I shit you not) of commercials and previews I was treated to before Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix last night, a Fruit of the Loom commercial came on that almost sent me over the edge of sanity. It was one of the company's "music video" commercials that I have seen on TV. However, instead of being an easily tuned out 30 seconds long, this one was a whopping five times that at almost 2.5 minutes long! It is probably the worst example I have seen of a commercial playing in front of a movie, and is a perfect representation of my utter hatred and anger of having to sit through this crap before a film starts.

Unfortunately, since I couldn't find it on either YouTube or Google Video, I can't post the utter disgrace of an ad for your viewing pleasure. However, if you are interested in getting a taste of the pain and misery you'll soon be treated to in your local multiplex, check out the Fruit of the Loom website. The music video in question is called "Apple of My Eye".

Ten commercials and five previews added 25 minutes to the run time of Harry Potter Last night. This madness must end!

Happy Friday the 13th

Outside of Halloween and Flag Day, this is my favorite holiday. Wait, I'm being told it's not in fact a holiday. Regardless, this date always begs the never ending question: Who would win in a real battle for supremacy? Jason certainly has the longevity, but he has never had a DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince sing a song about him. My vote is for Jason. Freddy can't really hurt you until you sleep, and I am guessing that since Jason Vorhees is technically dead, and resides mostly at the bottom of Crystal Lake, that he doesn't actually sleep. I swear to god, if some creepy, virgin fanboy emails me on a technicality regarding when Freddy Krueger can kill during waking hours....

So go forth and celebrate. I like to lurk around in the woods waiting for horny teenagers to wander too far from camp. When I do it on Friday the 13th, it seems more natural.

Rant - The Summer of Threequels

For anybody paying attention, I think you’ll agree that there has been an obnoxious amount of sequels hitting theatres this spring and summer – mostly part 3s, or as I like to call them: Threequels (no, I did not coin the term).

We have already seen releases of threequels to Ocean’s 11, Spider-Man, Shrek, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Rest assured there is still more on the way. What’s the deal with all these threequels you ask? Well, most studios consider them a guaranteed payday since these films continue established franchises that have already performed very well at the box-office. Beyond that, I have to speculate. One thing I do know for sure though is that threequels have a remarkable history of sucking ass and de-railing their previously successful movie franchises. Take a look at some examples:

Jaws 3…SUCKED! Shrek 3…BLEW! X-Men 3…AWFUL! Spider-Man 3…LAME! Terminator 3…LICKED IT! Batman 3…CRAP! Beverly Hills Cop 3…TERRIBLE! Rambo 3…DEAR GOD! Godfather 3…SPARE US! Superman 3…FUGLY! Matrix 2 & 3 (written and filmed at same time)…HORRIBLE! Alien 3… DISASTER!



All of these movie franchises, and so many more, have had undeniably good first and second movies, followed by a shitty threequel. I am sure you can come up with your own examples as well. Go ahead… So, are we seeing a pattern here? I sure am. But why must the threequel so often be doomed to failure?

I think a lot of these movie franchises suffered because, as their popularity grew, too many people within the industry (writers, producers, studio execs, etc.) began to try to affiliate themselves with these money making movies. As a result, too many people try to have a say in the movie and end up watering down what made the first and second movies great. Just look at Spider-Man 3. Director Sam Raimi has been quoted as saying he hates Venom and did not want to use him in the movie. However, studio executives forced him to cater to fanboy demands and we were treated to a bloated film with too many story lines and characters.

Additionally, expanding budgets of each consecutive movie makes wasting time and money a lot easier and encourages crap writing, performances, etc. just so a quick paycheck can be collected. The Matrix sequels are a great example. Part 2 and 3 (filmed together) had one of the largest budgets of their time – they built a two mile strip of fake interstate at a cost of $2.5 million for god’s sake! What did all that money and concrete produce? Two crappy movies that feel like a rushed departure from the perfection created in the first.

Finally, I think that these threequel franchises have a tendency to suck the life out of the creative talent behind them. Writers, directors and even actors can spend up to a year or more working on each film. Picture doing that for three movies in a row and that can easily be five years of your life, depending on the production pace. Think about it: writer/producer/director George Lucas spent around 10 years producing the three Star Wars prequels! Who wants to spend five years or more of their life directing the same movie over and over again, only this time making it bigger, louder and faster? Usually what happens is that creative talent that made the first two movies great bails out on the third, handing the reins over to a people who have no clue and no love for the original material. This is precisely the path to suckville that X-Men, Terminator and Batman took.

We are even starting to see more planned threequels now. I think Back to the Future may have started this trend, and it has gained momentum with sequels to The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings all filming their second and third movies at the same time. This saves the studios money through economies of scale, increases turn-around time and reduces burn-out of the creative talent. I imagine with the success of The Transformers that a similar approach will be taken with its sequels in hopes of releases in 2009 and 2010; and remember, we already know that Shrek 4 & 5 are currently in pre-production.

As we can see, just depending on sequels as a sure bet does not have a good performance track record. Its time for Hollywood to come to the realization that fresh talent and creative writing and ideas need to be injected into the studio system more often. Otherwise, each year we are going to be treated to more and more sequels of consistently degrading quality - like the planned sure fire hits of The Mummy 3 and Fantastic Four 3.

Anyway, I need to go mark my calendar for the threequel releases of Rush Hour, The Bourne Identity and Resident Evil; all coming out later this year!!

What other crappy threequels can you think of? Go ahead, share them in our comments section.

UPDATE!! (7/16/07) - Speaking of sequels, Variety has a nice article that talks about a variety (heh heh) of films coming out through 2010. Some sequels, but not tons of them! There is hope! Check out the article HERE

DOH! - We Lost

Well, it sounds like Springfield, IL put up the good fight, but to no avail. Our capitol city was entered into the running for hosting The Simpsons Movie premiere. It was one of 14 Springfield cities across the United States that participated in the contest by submitting a 3-5 minute video demonstrating their Simpsons spirit. The videos were then voted upon.





This from IMDB:

The world premiere of The Simpsons Movie will be held in Springfield, Vermont, after the town beat out 14 other Springfields to land the honor...

...The Vermont town, which has a population of 9,300, won an online vote and will become Simpsons central on July 21.

...Springfield, Vermont received 15,367 votes, beating Springfield, Illinois, which received 14,634 votes.